This words are strange for me to say, especially because they carry a not flattering-not sexy stereotype with them. Mums have carried for entire generations the idea that they have themselves go. Just with the fact of having kids, we are immediately moved from the single, charming, elegant and stylish way of life to a parallel world in which we have lost all our essence and have become some kind of automatons that are not interested in taking care of ourselves anymore.
To be fair, this perception carries a little bit of truth. Most of my days I wear a ‘uniform,’ which is an old jean and t-shirt, with the same sneakers of everyday, no make up and a pony tail. Yes, I have more to wear but why would I? If I know that two-seconds after dressing up I will have food, milk and saliva all over my body. And this is after three years of breastfeeding accidents, extra body weight and absolute exhaustion. But please don’t get me wrong, my days are full with beautiful moments at the beach or at the park. Not everyone has the fortune to wake up on a Monday morning and just decide to go for a walk next to the ocean and meet with friends and their kids to have long coffee breaks, but let’s face it, I am not going to wear my heels on a regular day.
After spending all my days in the same way for almost three years, I started to get bored and started loosing my self-esteem. Not only my days were the same but the magic of the nights vanished completely until it was just a sign to go to sleep. I had to do something to look better and feel better.
The first step was to find out that my femininity was not lost. Several times I saw myself dreaming about going out with hubby, or with friends and just wearing clothes and shoes that would make me look sexy and pretty. So I decided to go back to basics. From a logistic point of view it was difficult, but the only thing I needed to do to change my life was to make the commitment to dress different and to put some make up at least once a week. The beginning was not easy, I had to fight my own demons telling me that my clothes were not updated, they were not precisely couture and that after so many chocolate cookies with the kids they were not even going to fit. But I took some outfits out of the closet anyway, I tried them on and I saw that things were not as bad as I used to think.
But further than that, I accepted that I was a mum and that I wanted to dress as a mum. It was the perfect time, the trends were on my favour. High-waisted jeans and bikinis, A-line skirts, strange prints and colours, all of them were already a part of my closet and I was going to make the most of them. It was refreshing to find my style, simple, practical, flattering and real. Exactly who I am.
This dressing up once a week has been going on for a year, it has become a habit and it has change my way of perceiving my own life. This little and probably superficial habit goes as far as that. It is just not only a way of dressing up, it is letting myself know that I can be, I can think and feel the same things exactly as I used to when I didn’t have kids. I am not on the other side of the spectrum, I am not uglier, older, or moodier. I am definitely not wiser. I am just a different person to whom I used to be living in different circumstances. It reminds me that I am a mum, but at the same time I can be attractive, smart and easy going. This little habit reminds me once a week that raising little kids it’s just temporary, it reminds me that they will grow up, they will stop hugging me and climbing over me with their dirty shoes and it reminds me to enjoy, without getting to worried about the rest of my life, because the time will come when I will be able to dress up every day if I want, and I will look back and miss the days when I was in ‘uniform’, all sticky and dirty and complaining of too much food, milk and saliva all over my body.